


Halloweenanigans

by pain_somnia



Series: One Big Family & Just Getting Bigger [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Family Shenanigans, Multi, PLEASE READ THE NOTES AT THE BEGINNING, Self-Indulgent, and I don't even care that it is, listen...give me fluff or give me death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 12:23:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21253337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pain_somnia/pseuds/pain_somnia
Summary: Written for thatshipcat's birthday week!Obito drags Sasori along when he babysits a bunch of trick or treating kids.





	Halloweenanigans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shipcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipcat/gifts).

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITTY :D
> 
> this fic belongs to the same modern au setting as Konoha TV Cryptid and can be seen as a prequel as the events of this fic are set three years before KTC. As a reminder, The one-shots won't necessarily be listed in chronological order.  
The major pairings in this series will be SasoObi and SasuSaku with of course ShiItaIzu. SasoObi and ShiItaIzu will be the established relationships while SasuSaku will remain as implied until future events.

Sighing to himself, Sasori wiped off the makeup that had taken him a great deal of effort to apply. The painstakingly applied makeup had given him the appearance of one of the glassy eyed ventriloquist dummies from an old horror movie.

When he had first decided on his costume for Halloween he had expected to be dragged to parties by his boyfriend━parties he knew he would get bored of, but he could easily persuade Obito to duck out early.

What he hadn’t expected was to be stuck on babysitting duty.

Sasori was aware that his makeup was unnerving and would freak children out. If he had known that he would be around children at any point on Halloween he would have reconsidered his costume for the night.

If he had known.

Opening the door to the apartment, Sasori had expected to see his boyfriend not a gaggle of children. What soon followed was a high pitched shriek and then a swift kick to the shin from a blonde eight year old that came to the defense of her friend with peculiar hair coloring.

The same eight year old was sitting on one of his bar stools and swinging her little legs as she waited patiently for him and his supplies.

“So you just want whiskers?” Sasori asked her, setting up his multi-tiered makeup box.

“Please,” she pleaded bashfully, averting her gaze. She had apologized earlier for the attack and wouldn’t look him in the eye out of shame.

“Are you sure, Ino? He can make you a real snout.” Obito was currently reattaching one of the multiple tails to another blond brat’s costume. “He’s  _ really _ good at it.”

“How did you get stuck on babysitting duty, again?”

“Stuck? I volunteered!”

“Of course you did,” Sasori muttered looking around his neat living room. At the moment Obito’s cousin and the tiny girl with rose gold hair were sitting calmly on his couch but the brown haired kid dressed like a dog was fidgeting as he looked around the room.

_ He better not break anything... _

Looking down at Ino’s cat ears, Sasori took out a pot of gel eye liner and instructed the girl to close her eyes and tilt her chin up. There was a glimmer in her eyes when she saw the makeup kit and she sat still as a statue and did as asked.

“Can I get glitter too?” Ino asked━shame tossed completely out the window━as soon as Sasori was done lining her eyes to make them more cat like. The pale blue of her irises really worked with the cat costume.

Dusting the area around her eyes with more white face paint to give the texture of fur, he considered the placement of glitter on her faux cat markings. “Sure.”

Ino had barely slid off the bar stool when the puppy kid had braced his hands on the seat of it and in one fluid motion, jumped up and seated himself.

“Can you make it look like I have a giant scar going across my face?”

“That’s not part of the theme, Kiba!” Ino stomped her foot, hands on her hips.

“Naruto has like nine tails on him and no one has said anything about that!”

The two of them began to bicker, but Sasori was sure he heard Obito’s cousin mutter “I definitely did.”

Getting through the makeup for all of the kids, it wasn’t hard to notice the animal theme the kids went for. Or in the smallest child’s case, a yokai. Obito had even joined them and had the adult version of his cousin’s wolf costume.

Using his skills as a makeup artist was at least more amusing than watching a bunch of grad students give themselves alcohol poisoning.

“A heads up would have been nice.”

“Aww,” Obito threw an arm around Sasori’s shoulders, “you can always go as  _ Little Red _ . Ow!”

Leaving him with the kids in the living room, Sasori headed back to his bedroom. He was sure that he had a kid friendly costume in his closet.

* * *

Sasori narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend. Obito would sneak peeks at him as they walked, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

“Not a word,” Sasori hissed, the cat ears on his head twitching in sync with his right eye.

Unfortunately for him, he didn’t have anything that would have been quick to put together and the fox boy and puppy kid were already complaining about how the sun had set. He changed into some easy to move in street clothes and grabbed his brainwave cat ears.

Trick or treating wasn’t that bad, mostly a lot of walking. Whether it was the promise of candy or refusal to show any exhaustion, the primary school kids dragged him and Obito across several blocks.

“Isn’t this the cousin that hates candy?” Sasori asked, watching the little wolf throw something from his bag at the fox kid’s face.

“Sasuke? Yeah. He’ll probably end up giving most of that candy to Sakura.” Obito unwrapped a lollipop and stuck it in his mouth. “Usually he gives his candy to Itachi because no one gives it out to teenagers anymore but he’s pissed off at him right now.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I volunteered to take him, Kiba, and Naruto trick or treating because Itachi decided he wanted to go out with his friends this year.”

“And the bunny and cat?”

“Sakura goes where Sasuke goes and Ino goes where Sakura goes.”

And as if on cue, there was Sasuke offering a marshmallow treat to the bunny girl, right before Ino knocked him out of her way by bumping him with her hip and offering Sakura a chocolate bar from her own bag. Ino hooked her arm with Sakura’s and they skipped to the next house.

“She’s not going to make his life easy,” Obito snickered. The smile slid off of his face when the man at the next house pulled the bowl of candy away from Sasuke. “What the hell?”

“The kid is pretty tall for his age. He probably thinks that he’s a teen—and there he goes.”

Ino and Sakura came running back to him as they watched Obito give the older man a piece of his mind.

“Should we stop him?” Sakura asked him, tugging on the sleeve of his jacket.

“Obito’s fine.”

“Oh, not him.” Ino pointed in a different direction, a smile spreading across her face.

Sasori cocked his head to the side and observed the scene in front of them. Sasuke was now pinching the bridge of his nose in embarrassment. Obito was too busy arguing with the owner of the house to notice that Naruto had grabbed the giant jack o’ lantern from the front yard until it was too late.

He lifted it over his head and with more strength than Sasori would expect from a ten year old, Naruto threw it, smashing it against the garage door. Kiba let out a battle cry and copied his action with another pumpkin.

“Hey!” The house owner shouted. “I’m calling the cops, you brats.”

“Ha! You think that scares me?” Kiba mocked him as Obito scooped him up over his shoulder. “My mom  _ is _ a cop.”

Sasori wrapped his arms around Ino and Sakura’s waists and lifted them up, carrying them under his arms as he followed Obito across the street and around the corner. The girls shrieked and giggled the whole way.

* * *

“Can I get a slushie?” Ino clasped her hands behind her back and batted her eyelashes up at Sasori. She nudged Sakura with her elbow and the girl mirrored her actions.

“You have enough sugar. You can get water.”

They found a convenience store to use the restroom and to find some supplies to fix Naruto’s costume again. He kept smacking everyone with his tails and Sasuke grew fed up with it and ripped the tails off.

“We’ll  _ share _ the slushie,” Ino insisted.

Sasori crossed his arms in front of his chest, not falling for the cutesy act. “If I’m paying, you get water. If you want a slushie, you buy it.”

“Ugh, fine.” Ino pulled out a smartphone from her hoodie pocket and pulled out a credit card from the card pocket attached to the case.

_ What the hell? _ Sasori shook his head. He didn’t want to meet the parent that gave a ten year old an iPhone, let alone a credit card. He watched as Ino dragged Sakura behind an aisle and then immediately turned back, blue eyes wide.

“What happened?” Sasori demanded.

“N-nothing.” Both girls cheeks were flushed red.

_ I swear to God if it’s a flasher… _

Sasori turned the corner around the aisle and stopped dead in his tracks. “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me. Oi!”

Obito’s other younger cousin blinked at him, pulling away from a brown haired girl and a curly haired boy that had his arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

“Really? At a 7-Eleven?” Sasori scrunched his face up in disgust. “Love yourself. Have some class.”

“Wait,” Itachi’s eyes widened in recognition, “if you’re here—“

“This is the prior engagement you had?” Obito snickered, his head poking out from over the shelves of chips. “If you wanted to go on a date, you could have just said so.”

Sasori snorted and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I wouldn’t call this a date. Making out in front of the slushie machine, really? So classy.”

“Brings back memories huh, Sasori?” Sasori rubbed his brow with his index finger and thumb. “He gets hangry when he’s high. You guys don’t have the munchies do you?”

The three teenagers looked from Obito and then back down to Sasori━seriously, what was with the Uchiha family and being so tall?━eyes wide and stammering. Itachi blinked owlishly from behind his glasses but then looked around.

“You’re not high right now, are you Obito? You have my brother with you! You do have him with you, right?”

Obito blew a raspberry and then ducked down. There was a growling sound and a protest and then Sasuke was lifted up in the air above the shelves. “See? All in one piece.”

“Can you put me down now?”

“Aww, don’t you want to see your brother?” Obito asked, setting him back down.

“No, he’s a traitor,” Sasuke’s voice carried down the aisle as he stomped away.

Itachi at least had the decency to hang his head in defeat. Sasori rolled his eyes and went looking for his charges for the night. Ino was loud but she and Sakura were a lot easier to deal with than Kiba and Naruto. Speaking of, the two of them had been quiet for a while now…

There was a loud popping sound and then a pair of cackles. There was the sound of liquid splashing everywhere and one of the shop employees started shouting.

_ No. Nope, not dealing with that _ . Sasori turned in the opposite direction of the noise and grabbed Sakura and Ino’s hands. Sasuke jogged alongside them, following them right out of the store.

“Hey!” Ino whined. “I didn’t get my slushie!”

“That was Naruto wasn’t it?” Sakura asked, grabbing onto Sasuke’s hand to make sure he went around the corner with them as Sasori dragged them as far from the 7-Eleven as possible.

“The idiot said there wasn’t enough  _ tricks _ happening tonight.”

“I’m choking him with his own tails later,” Sakura growled.

_ Well, alright then.  _ Sasori did a double take, shocked that the threat had come from the child that had been the most quiet the whole night.  _ The baby of the group is a lot darker than previously believed to be. _

“We left Obito behind,” Sasuke informed him.

“Every man for himself.” Sasori chose not to remind him that he had also left behind his friends and his older brother.

He probably didn’t really care about his older brother and his “cousins” at the moment. Sasori was going to have to ask Obito how they were all related again. He knew that he and Sasuke were definitely related because Obito was a little more doting than was healthy and even had a collection of baby photos.

They were probably going to have to have a discussion about that as well if the relationship was going to go any further than the four months they already dated.

The ten year old smirked up at him, “you know what, you’re okay. I approve.”

“I wasn’t looking for your approval.” Sasuke simply shrugged.

“You got it anyway.”

* * *

Sasori made himself busy folding candy wrappers into different shapes for Sakura’s entertainment. She was clearly the only kid of the group worth wasting time on—Obito’s favoritism towards his baby cousin ignored of course.

He had only been in her presence for a few hours but it was obvious the little beauty queen had Obito’s cousin and Naruto wrapped around her little finger. It was something he had to respect just a bit.

“Okay, kiddos,” Obito addressed them all cheerily. “Where to next?”

“Don’t they have a curfew?”

“Nope!” Ino popped a bubble. Somehow all of the candy with gum ended up in her possession. “We’re all sleeping over at Sasuke’s.”

“What!?” Naruto shrieked. “Since when is  _ Ino _ staying over?”

“Since Sakura asked.” Ino tossed her ponytail over her shoulder haughtily, fists balled at her hips.

“You got a problem, Naruto?” Sakura shook her little fist in his direction and the boy cowered, throwing his hands over his head.

“No, not at all.”

“God, you’re whipped,” Kiba snickered. His words though were directed to Sasuke who was sitting on the curb a little away from the rest of them.

“Shut up, Kiba.” Ino rolled her eyes. “There’s no such thing as being whipped.”

Kiba blew a raspberry at her. “It’s the whole reason we have an animal theme this year. ‘Cause  _ someone _ gets cold easily and  _ someone else _ went along with it.”

_ Oh.  _ Sasori observed the way Sasuke’s ears turned a shade of red. His eyes shifted to Sakura who definitely was wearing the warmest costume, being the fluffy bunny and all.

“So how long are we going to be stuck with the kids?” Sasori asked Obito over the squawking of the children. As... _ cute _ ...as they were, time with them was dragging on and he had plans for the way he wanted the night to end. “Kind of wanted to do some...things later.”

“Oh, really?” Obito gave him a cheeky grin. Wrapping an arm around his shoulders, he pulled Sasori closer, leaning in to—

“There are children present.” Sasori palmed Obito’s face and pushed him away.

“You’re just being a tease,” Obito whined. “Not like they would even notice."

It was true. The kids weren’t even paying attention to them. The five of them were in their own little world, crowding Ino’s smartphone. Naruto lunged for the phone, exclaiming about something, but was pushed back by the other kids.

Sasori still couldn’t believe the stuff the brat had done in only a few hours. Bless his mother. Sasori could only imagine how difficult it was to deal with him 365 days of the year.

“This night has turned me off of kids.”

Obito scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You don’t mean that.”

“No, I’m serious. These kids are walking advertisements for birth control.”

Obito exhaled a laugh through his nose. “Love the kid, but I’m pretty sure Sasuke wasn’t planned.”

“Well, fortunately we won’t have that problem in the future. Can’t accidentally adopt a kid.”

Obito cradled his chin with his hand, his elbow propped on his knee. “Oh, we won’t will we?”

“Wipe that smirk off of your face.” Sasori pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. He would have to deal with that cocky grin later. “I’ve tolerated you for four months already, who’s to say I won’t tolerate you for longer.”

“Tolerating me is what you’ve been doing, huh?” Obito snickered. “I feel so loved.”

“Oh, shut up.” This time Sasori only rolled his eyes as Obito wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer.

At times it could be overwhelming, the intensity that Obito loved. It was a completely new experience and although it was nerve wracking the first few weeks of their courtship, the two had settled into an easy rhythm. It took Obito a week to leave his bed after their first night; Sasori should have taken that as a sign of how things would turn out for them.

“If you’re done flirting,” Ino approached them, features cooled into a business like appearance, “we want to go to the haunted house.”

“What? You haven’t committed enough minor criminal acts for one night?” Sasori eyed the shrimpy blond kid. “Vandalism and theft not enough, we have to add breaking and entering?”

“Hey! I bought those mints and that cola.” Naruto’s face scrunched up into an ugly pout before it finally dawned on him what Sasori had said. “There’s a real haunted house!?”

“Okay, down boy.” Ino grabbed Naruto by the scruff of his neck and kept him from tackling the adults in his excitement. “We’re not going to some abandoned house, we’re going much more commercial here. There’s a haunted house set up nearby that we technically can’t go to unless we have adults with us.”

“That doesn’t sound reassuring.”

“Sounds fun!” Obito stood up, pulling Sasori up with him. “Where is it?”

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” Sasori tugged on Obito’s hand until they were a far enough distance from the kids that they could speak in private while still keeping an eye on them. “Obito it’s late. We should be taking them back to your aunt’s house and then we should be going back to my apartment.”

“Come on,” Obito pleaded, “it will be fun! And it will be the last thing we do tonight with the kids. Besides, I’m sure that they’ll probably chicken out before we even go inside.”

“Last thing?”

“Yep!”

“And then we go home?”

“And we can do whatever you want.” Obito winked. “Come on. It will be quick and then we’ll be home before you know it.”

* * *

Obito was avoiding looking at him. Whenever they caught each other’s eyes he would grin sheepishly and rub the back of his neck and then go back to looking at the bars of the holding cell.

“Home before we know it, huh?” Sasori hissed from his seat on the bench. The cell was extremely full, but one look from him and the previous occupant had vacated the seat.

Obito wasn’t as lucky and was forced to stand in a corner. He used his position to keep an eye on the kids whom were sitting on a bench at the opposite side of the room.

“Let’s be fair. _ I’m _ not the reason we had the cops called on us.”

“But  _ I’m _ not the reason we were in that stupid haunted house in the first place!” Sasori ran his hands down his face and sighed. He would gladly take idiot grad students and their keg stands right now.

The haunted house had been a stupid idea. It wasn’t as terrifying as Sasori had expected, but then again a group of ten year olds and one nine year old were probably going to be more afraid than he was considering he was used to more horrifying special effects and makeup. It came with his job.

The screaming he could handle. The hand holding wasn’t so bad. Sasori had spent most of the night holding hands with the little girls anyway. It was when a little hand had disappeared from his grasp that he had began to panic.

Sakura had screamed a moment later and Sasori found her being carried away by one of the performers. Which was how he and Obito now found themselves in a holding cell at the police station.

“What are you laughing at?” Sasori snapped. Obito had broken out into a peal of laughter. He pointed somewhere beyond where Sasori could see even standing up. “Really? I’m like a foot shorter than you, I can’t see shit.”

“Itachi and company are being brought in right now. I wonder what they did.”

“Okay, that’s kind of funny. What could your dorky cousin have done?”

“Oh, I can’t wait to see Uncle Fugaku’s face.” Obito continued to laugh. “It will make sitting here overnight worth it.”

“What? We’re not staying overnight.”

“Well, he’ll probably let  _ you _ go but he’ll definitely keep me here as punishment for dragging Sasuke around past his bedtime and getting him caught up in this.” Sasori must have let his confusion slip on his face because Obito laughed even harder than earlier before finally explaining. “My uncle is the police captain.”

“Jesus Christ,” Sasori exhaled. “Is there any family member of yours I won’t be seeing tonight?”

“Hey, this would be a good chance to introduce you to him!”

“Obito. I’m not telling your uncle we’re dating while I’m sitting in a holding cell at his precinct.”

“It would be such a funny memory to tell our kids one day though,” Obito joked.

“I wasn’t kidding about those brats turning me off from having kids one day.” Sasori pinched the bridge of his nose. “Besides, it’s way too soon to even think about that.”

“You’ve tolerated me this long,” Obito mocked him using his words from earlier that night, “I’m sure we’ll get to that point some day.”

“Only if your family doesn’t put me into an early grave,” Sasori muttered.

“At least they’re not boring, right?”

Sasori would give him that. He hadn’t had a moment to rest the whole night, let alone a moment to relax enough to get bored. It didn’t mean he wanted a repeat though.

“Next Halloween, we’re staying in and watching movies.”


End file.
